Mak, Please Don't Leave Me :-(

On 24th September 2010, I was awaken by somber dream. I hated the dream. I walked out from my room and saw my mom sitting on the floor next to the computer table. She had her back against me. She was flipping at the old album. She was looking at my father’s photo as if caressing the picture. “ I will miss him dearly” says my mom and I asked why? She uttered words that sent me chills down my spine. “I will go away soon”, She held my hand and brought me next to her bed. There were yellow spots on her pillow and she said that’s the sign that her life is coming to an end. I hugged her from behind and wept, I remembered telling her “please don’t leave mak, I think I’ll go crazy if you ever leave me”


I wasn’t crying when I woke up. I didn’t know what to make out from that dream. I walked to the door to find my mom but my legs trembled. I felt weak. I was afraid to open the door, afraid the ‘dream’ comes to life. Moving back to my bed, lying motionless and started to cry. I realized that I was not ready for this. The whole day I kept thinking about the dream. I cried in the office. Was it a bad dream? Or its just a waking up call. But it was so real. Was it a sign? Does god wants me to prepare? Oh God, I’m not ready for this. Not now. Please give me time to be with them, to care and make them happy before you decide to take them.


All along I was making sure I spend time with my kids but I wasn’t aware that I didn’t really spend time with my parents. Yes, we live in the same house, we talk and laugh everyday but we stop doing things that we used to do together. No more groceries shopping, gardening, walking at the park, going for picnis. I never focus on what makes my parents happy. Before I went back home, I made a list the things I need to do with my parents. That very day I went back home and I actually started looking at my parents, they are indeed old. All this while I was have taken my parents for granted, I still believe they are strong and vibrant. I love them dearly and long to do things with them. I know time envy us so I need to make the best that I can. God, please hear my prayers.

Today my mom turned 61, born on 29-09-1949. Happy Birthday Mak, Nasha sayang mak sangat sangat, always and always and I can just imagine how lonely and empty my life would be without you around me. Moga panjang umur and sihat selalu. I would be most happy if we can sit and plan Iman’s and Nabila’s wedding in the next 20 years to come. Good Nite Mak.



My parents in 2007 with Iman